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Once upon a time there were three little pigs. The straw pig, the stick pig and the brick pig.

One day this nasty old wolf came up to the straw pigs house and said ” I’m gonna huff and puff and blow your house down.” And he did!!

So the straw pig went running over to the stick pigs house and said “Please let me in, the wolf just blew down my house.” So the stick pig let the straw pig in.

Just then the wolf showed up and said ” I’m gonna huff and puff and blow your house down.”And he did!!

So the straw pig and the stick pig went running to the brick pigs house and said ” Let us in, let us in the big bad wolf just blew our houses down.”

So the brick pig let them in just as the wolf showed up. The wolf said “I’m gonna huff and puff and blow your house down.” The straw pig and the stick pig were so scared. The brick pig picked up the phone and made a call.

A few minutes passed by and a big black Caddy pulls up.

Out steps two massive pigs in pinstrip suits and fedora hats. These pigs come over to the wolf grab him by the neck and beat the living shit out of him. Then one of them pulls out a gun, fires and kills the wolf. Then they tie cement blocks to his feet and throw his sorry ass into a nearby creek. They get into their car and drive away.

The straw pig and the stick pig are amazed!!!

“Who the hell where those guys?” they ask.

Those were my cousins……. The Guinea Pigs.

Doughboy was buried in a  lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their  respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins,  Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was  piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly  described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy  rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.  He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on  half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still was a  crusty old man a nd was considered a positive roll model for  millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children,  John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived  by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about  20 minutes.

If this made you smile for even a brief second, please rise  to the occasion and take time to pass it on and share that smile with someone  else who may be having a crumby day and kneads it.

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
“Miss Beatrice”, he said, “I wonder if you would tell me about this?” pointing to the bowl.
“Oh, yes,” she replied, “Isn’t it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ,
keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.
Do you know I haven’t had the flu all winter.”
If you don’t send this to five GOOD friends right away there will be five
fewer people smiling in the world ..

No, it wasn’t when Obama gave a gripping concession speech or when Mitt made it seem like HE won or when John Edwards got a bit of a tear in HIS eye last night..

No… it was more than that – we were flipping between CSPAN, MSNBC and America’s Funniest Videos (one of these three things don’t belong here :p)… and on MSNBC while I was watching them talk about the Clinton win, I could not help but notice that Keith Olbermann looks alot like Sam the Eagle from the Muppets:

Of course, I couldn’t capture the picture that I wanted, but you get the idea – next time you watch MSNBC, tell me you don’t see the resemblance!

New Ferrari for Dad: $1,000,000

Son borrows Dad’s new car to try out……

and hits Power Pole at 200 MPH.

The driver only had some bruising (seat belt) and 2 small cuts.

Car loss? $1 Million bucks!
Waiting list for a new one? 2 years.
When can son drive Dad’s car again? Next life time.
When will kid not be grounded and see the light of day?
Same day the polar ice caps melt.
But he is still alive….
Priceless…………….
Car only had 9 miles on it !………………
One mile of it was during the wreck.